Ex shows up to pick up our son as I was walking out the door to do the thing that I have found is easiest on all of us. Drop him off with the grandparents. My ex then retrieves him from there...grandparents get to see everyone, I don't have to, everything is good. Usually to see him for the 5 minutes it takes my son to gather his stuff to go leaves me with a feeling of wanting to blow my brains out. He reaches for me...I pull away...he says "What now you can't fucking touch me anymore?"

"I don't know can I? Didn't I lose that right when you walked out?"

"Nevermind."

And Whammo! he shuts down to anything I have to say after that and switches into Let's go! Let's go! mode. Which is frustrating as hell.
The funny thing is we still hang out. On the days we hang out everything is fine. We talk and get along great, just like when we were together. To the point of it's uncomfortable... kinda like "What the hell are we doing?" It feels like nothing is different. Everyone says it's not supposed to be that way. You get along for the kids, you distance yourself etc etc. When does that happen? When do you start blowing off yer best friend because you're supposed to? Am I supposed to hate him? Isn't he supposed to hate me? This is just soooooo confusing....

When the thoughts consume me
I go walk in there world
Silent as the stone beneath where they lay
There words have died
There stories have ended
But upon the walls and tombs
Are memories
Brought to them
By the bereaven
Who remember birth and death
Love and hate
Forgotten
About every worry
All they know is that they may never have said
They knew the difference
Young and old
Side by side
Some too soon
Others maybe not soon enough
There walls empty
Faded flowers
Which would I be
Trespasses forgotten
Or forgotten?
If now I’m gone
My chapter closed
Are all the words written where I want?
When time passes by
What will there be
Ashes
But will there be anyone
Who remembers me

- me