I have something too confess. I've wanted to for awhile but I wanted too make sure it was right. Also to make sure I was ok. After a long time with bouts of "the blues" and then periods of, what I thought was, being fine. It was getting worse and I didn't know it. No one around me could tell, I was a master at disguise. I started to really wonder when it started effecting my job. I couldn't focus on a thing. My entire job requires attention to detail and I didn't have it to give. That was my first clue that something might be wrong. My second clue was horrible. I had a panic attack. While I was driving. In 5 'o'clock fucking traffic. For no reason. Ya know how ya feel right before you faint? Like everything is swimming? I was crying, but couldn't breathe. My hands were shaking then numb, my face and feet went numb too. I thought I was having a stroke. It lasted almost an hour. I didn't know what a panic attack was until I told my friend what happened. I confessed too him one night everything. The intense highs and lows. The horrible thoughts. The time "I went crazy in my truck" (panic attack). I really thought I was going crazy. With his advise I went to the doctor. I'm not crazy. I'm bipolar. For the first time since I was a child I feel normal. I have middle ground again. My only wish is that I would have found out sooner. Thank god I did find out before it was too late.