My Epiphany

A couple of summers ago I was driving my piece of shit truck at mid-day. It was hot, 115 degrees hot. I'm thinking to myself what a loser I was. Sweating. Make-up ruined. Windows rolled down, split window open, hairs a mess. Wishing I had air-conditioning. Cursing at myself and my truck. Starting to feel sick from a heat you never quite get used to. In this frame of mind I'm sitting at a stop light. I look over to the right at the bus stop and see the people waiting there. It could be worse. I could be standing in the sun, waiting on a bus that may or may not have a/c. I could be walking in this shit. It could be worse.

At the end of the following summer my truck was broke and I was taking the bus. It took me two hours to get home everyday and I lived 5 minutes from work. What a loser I am. How did I let it get this bad. Oh look it's raining. Wonderful. I was having quite the pity party for myself sitting in the back of the bus. I was almost in tears. When I was getting off at my stop I noticed the man in front of me was on crutches, a plastic bag covering the cast on his leg to keep it dry. He hopped off the bus and onto the slippery sidewalk. I watched him carefully making his way down the street. I thought 'it could be worse, I could be him.' It could be worse.

Yesterday I was talking to a couple guys I work with. One of them had just lost 70lbs. He was sharing some tips and techniques he used to shed those pounds. Turns out the other guy I was talking to had dropped 130lbs a few years back. I had a hard time sharing. I have lost weight too, twice but was unable to stick with it either time and have put some of it back on. What a loser I am. If they can do it why can't I? I'm destined to be fat forever. I have been trying. I've been walking which worked for me before. I started in getting down on myself again. When I was leaving work this morbidly obese girl, about my age, went by me in a motorized wheel chair. As I walked past her, again I thought 'It could be worse.'

No matter how bad it gets...it could be worse.