If for just one time there was something at the end of the struggle. A moment, a reason, time that happiness would touch me... Instead of paying for every occurrence. Like I pay ten times over for one shiny moment. To fall away into darkness again, down a twisted path where everything is just an obstacle. Nothing is easy. Not for a second. I'm tired, of everyday a struggle and nothing to show. Just one time I'd like have a moment that I don't end up paying for, a moment that doesn't have a dark biting reality to it, a moment to step back and say yeah I deserve this. Instead of just cold truths. That's me, that person that nothing quite works out for, yet things aren't quite that bad. Like walking down the center median. Tired of the status quo, just let me fail completely or... I dunno get it over with. Tired of being in the middle and looking at the bottom. I'm tired.
"It's like the bottom of the ninth
And I'm never gonna win
This life hasn't turned out
Quite the way I want it to be"
"There's nothing ever wrong but nothing's ever right
Such a cruel contradiction"
"My dad, he had a friend, lowdown till the end
Everything he did, it came out wrong
No matter how hard he tried
He never cheated, he never lied
Had a shotgun in his hand when he died
Everybody's got their own way, tomorrow's another day
Make of it what you will, as you're climbing up that hill
Always be prepared to pay"
-Cross Canadian Ragweed