I'm not working, what I now know was a leasurely, graveyard shift in tech support anymore. I'm in hell. I'm on days. I've gone from taking maybe 10 to 20 calls a night, surfing the web, writing in my blog and playing cards to non stop calls. These people are wearing me the fuck out. One of these days my mute button will fail and I will be unemployed. Example:
Me: Click OK
Cust: Should I click OK?
Me: Yes, click OK.
Cust: So click on OK?
Me: (mute)No dumbass maybe if ya sit there and stare at it long enough it will click itself (unmute) Yes, Please click OK now (mute) so I can get tha fuck off this call (unmute) so we can continue.

In light of my new found 'love' of my job I am reposting this.

Guide When Calling Tech Support
I will not hold your hand. Please have your hearing aid on and your reading glasses available when you call. If you've had your pc for three years I hope you have a basic understanding of what it is, what it does and where things go. I will not giggle with you when you say you are computer stupid or "computer illiterate". Buy a book, educate yourself. That's not my job. Ford doesn't include any driving lessons when you buy a car. Know the difference between an area code and a zip code. Please be sober. The computer tower is not called a modem and I will not refer to it as such. Yes if you try to email 100 pics to your grandma/sister/uncle/cousin it will freeze your computer. Please speak English, not to be rude here, but if you can't understand me and I can't understand you things could get ugly. Please have your computer on. Know which version of Windows you are using, very simple it says it everytime you turn on your pc. Office 2000 Professional, Microsoft Word, ME/2000 and my favorite "Flying Windows" are not versions of Windows. Oh yea, and Windows 2000 only came in the professional version (as far as anyone I talk to knows), saying it doesn't impress me it only makes me realize your level of knowledge. Do not brag to me about your job, or that you're a system admin/consultant/your office's pc god. You are still calling me for help so let me do my job, because I promise that you will feel stupid and I will feel underpaid when I tell you that you have the phone cord plugged into the wrong jack. Yes your husband is visting porn sites, that's where the pop ups come from. Please muzzle your dog or put him somewhere. If your child/baby wakes up or is crying that should be your priority, not your computer. For God sakes KNOW THE ERROR. Write it down! Know where it happens or at least how to reproduce it. "It just doesn't work" doesn't help me, soo I won't help you.