Tower of Books
I'm sitting on the floor in front of a heavily stocked book case. Several weeks ago I managed to read a few short stories. Now I want to try going thru something I've read before and enjoyed. Testing the water. Looking across the shelves and the few small stacks on the floor and I'm scared. Stupid I known but I haven't finished a book in...two years? Three? Some are sitting that I've never opened, little adventures my mind won't let me take. I'm hoping how some things in the past have healed themselves that maybe this has too. "The Stand" keeps catching my eye, but that's 1500 pages. The first time I devoured that in a week. Now it seems overwhelming. Of all the things I've lost from this disease this is the one that hurts the most. I have a book in my lap now (not the stand)...wish me luck.
*Update* I finished "Blaze" by Stephen King on 11/6. Book was great, ending sucked. I've started a new one!
5 comments:
Good luck! I think I missed what disease you have. Could be my memory or maybe I didn't decipher the clues.
ac
Multiple Sclerosis. So far, other than clumsiness and twitching, cognitive functions are the only things it's effected.
I'm sorry to hear that. Hopefully it doesn't progress very quickly.
Perhaps there is a positive to be taken from this -- MS being a constant reminder of how uncertain quality of life can be -- which could encourage you to live your life to its fullest.
I've often thought that some of my depressive episodes have made me more "alive" than supposedly the happier moments. While it is a bit of over an simplification, for me giving myself permission to tell someone what I really think or to just have the extra dessert seems so much easier when you're not sure if you're going to jump off a bridge in the morning. Metaphorically speaking.
The reality is, even for the most healthy (mentally and physically), so much can change tomorrow. While a bit passe -- Carpe Diem is so true. I only wish I could remember it more frequently and under better circumstances.
ac
I think you'll want to place a twitter icon to your website. Just marked down this blog, although I had to complete this by hand. Just my 2 cents.
Thank you. I will keep that in mind.
Post a Comment