Regret

You made me trust you more than anyone in a long time. Let you have a key to my truck, I would have given you a key to my house. You would never do anything to hurt me, either physically or emotionally. You were there for me so many times. Even just to talk to, you listened to me. I wanted to hear what you said. Never felt like u were raping my ear or forcing things on me. Not once. I learned so much from you, not just geeky stuff. Things about life, things about people and brought me back to a reality I had forgot was there. One that was not jaded. A genuine goodness I didn't know existed in people anymore. Sure we irritated each other sometimes, but you always made me laugh. You always made me feel good. I tried to do the same thing in return. We clicked. Ebb and flow. Sometimes I felt like our friendship was one sided, that you were doing all the work. Struggling with that, I tried to do everything I could for you. Tried to find a balance, maybe I was trying too hard. Sometimes I felt like my time with you was borrowed, you would do things at times that were so amazing to me surely you must be a dream that I would wake up from. You and Tammy are the best friend's I ever had in my life. I drank too much last night, even though I really didn't want to again after that one incident about 6 weeks ago, said somethings I shouldn't have and I lost you. Now I wonder if I really know how to be a friend and I'm sorry I hurt you. Now that everyone is gone no one will see that last lesson you taught me about drinking too much. Since no one is left does it matter?

"And it might take some time to patch me up inside
but I cant take it so I, I run away and hide
And I might find in time that you were always right
You're always right. "

"You were the one to show me how
Back then I couldn't do the things that I can do now.
This thing is slowly taking me apart.
Grey would be the color if I had a heart."