and that's all i have to say about that

Someone asked me the other day why I never told them I had MS. Eh, my answer was because I didn't think about it. Honestly the only time I ever think about it is when my thumb starts moving as if it has a mind of its own or when I have to take the shot every other day. Why would I want to remind myself that I have an incurable disease? That my immune system got bored (must be cuz I never get sick) and attacked my central nervous system? Fuck it, life's to short as it is, I'm not going to waste time on something I can't do anything about. Besides, I don't want the sympathy, I don't want to explain it and I don't want anyone looking at me differently. Nothing about me has changed, it's not like I grew a 3rd eye or something. Symptoms come and go, luckily for me they mostly go. Other than the bipolar that went away, and the shit curtain eye, the only other long term symptom I've had was about 8 years ago. My hand went numb for over a year. It started out with excruciating pain in my hand and arm. The doctor told me it was carpel tunnel. A few days later it went numb. Blistered-my-hand-on-the-oven-and-didn't-feel-it numb, I just knew "hmmm that should be hot". In my infinite wisdom at the time, no pain = no doctor. A year later I noticed I could feel it again. No pins and needles or anything to announce the arrival, it was just back. Anyway, maybe because of the manner in which the diagnoses took place it afforded me some relief. The guesses that were made prior, tumor, blood clot, stroke etc etc were way worse and potentially fatal. So when I heard multiple sclerosis my reaction was "that's it?" Yea, yea I know it is potentially disabling. Medically speaking the prognosis is better the younger you are, and I've already started treatment. In 8 years I've had three flare-ups, not too bad. Better than being dead. No sense in speculating the potential path it may or may not take. I'm fine, and no matter what the outcome is, I'll be fine anyway.