Am I awake and dreaming or dead and remembering...

Umm I sat on the below post for a week. Unsure if it even made sense. A week ago I couldn't trust my thoughts. A week ago I didn't have the attention span to proof read this.

How did I type that previous post below and not notice? It took me another, what four days, to get it. "Years ago I quit once using it and it worked well." It worked well. It didn't make me manic, paranoid, delusional, unfocused, hyper sensitive, irritable and angry. It didn't make me have the attention span of a lightening bolt. It didn't make me crazy, it didn't make me keep my ex husband on the phone for 2 hours Friday night (intermittently hanging up on him, or putting him on eternal hold), it didn't make me text my best friend in Utah crazy stuff at 11pm, it didn't make me snap and go off on another friend for no reason (that all in one night). Yeah do not EVER add alcohol to Wellbutrin. All those things are not things I do. My friend I snapped on? He says, "Don't apologize, it wasn't you who did that". Don't even remember any of it. Had to hear replays the next day. The consensus of my friends? Please stop taking the pills and start smoking again, the pills are making you crazy. Well I did stop with the pills, but I didn't start smoking again. Thank God I don't remember the worst of Friday night...

So anyway, my point being I now have solid concrete proof that MS is what caused the bipolar and ADD. Because I took this medication before and it didn't do this to me. When they gave me that diagnoses, I just wanted it fixed. Give me meds so I can function. Then I researched it and it didn't add up. Never had any of the symptoms of ADD or bipolar (manic part) until I was 26-27, and it literally started over night. Took meds for roughly two years or so before they stopped working, or worked in weird ways that the doctors couldn't figure out (Lamictal gave me narcolepsy, Lithium made me homicidal). So I stopped taking all of it and was fine (the ADD was still there but not as bad). Happy to feel well, I tried not to think about it too much. It scared me too. How could it just go away? Will it come back? The answer? My brain repaired itself. Maybe not completely. My understanding of how MS works is similar to repairing damaged wires with electrical tape, blind folded. Like the body is more concerned with covering the exposed wires rather than making sure the signal/current is going thru unaltered. So if I happened to get a half assed repair on whatever was damaged, then couldn't it cause intermittent problems? Dropped data? May be a geek but I'm not a doctor.

Anyway, I came back...A little shook up and freaked out. Lesson learned, next..