Pulling back from the brink...

Was I standing there, on the edge of a cliff, laughing, crying...dancing? Never noticed, I was too wrapped up in what was going on inside me to notice how close it was. The fall I was headed for no one could have saved me from. Not as if I was listening to anybody anyway. Not that I noticed that they stayed back and didn't follow. Weren't you there with me? Why did you walk away? Seeing you leave was the first step I took away from that abyss. The one I was oblivious to. Turning around now, it's not clear how I got there but I know those are not steps I want to retrace. Solitude can be found along the edge but it's not the kind anyone seeks. You can lose yourself there and be unaware of it, unhearing of other people warning you. Tires screeching that woke me up, yet the silence that followed was more deafening. What you left behind, burnt rubber on asphalt, reminds me everyday of what I did and what I can't take back. Not just that night, but everything before that too.

When we walked out of the bar/restaurant last night there was a song playing. I'm relieved you were ahead of me so you didn't see. That song was how I feel. Can't say anymore than I already have.

"I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry I'm blue, I'm sorry about all things I said to you
And I know I can't take it back"